Ecco Hominis! How to change who you are

Do you want to change? Just change yourself when you want to change!

http://www.quickiwiki.com/en/Self-discrepancy_theory

Actual

Actual self is your representation of the attributes that you believe you actually possess, or that you believe others believe you possess. The “actual self” is a person’s basic self-concept. It is one’s perception of their own attributes (intelligence, athleticism, attractiveness, etc.).

We can ignore the actual self at first if we want to change who we are, the actual self will follow the ideal and ought self.

Ideal

Ideal self is your representation of the attributes that someone (yourself or another) would like you, ideally, to possess (i.e., a representation of someone’s hopes, aspirations, or wishes for you). The “ideal-self” is what usually motivates individuals to change, improve and achieve.

The ideal self-regulatory system focuses on the presence or absence of positive outcomes (e.g., love provided or withdrawn).

The best way to achieve that is to make a list of skills/attributes/characteristics you want to have. You must picture your ideal self every day.

Ought

Ought is your representation of the attributes that someone (yourself or another) believes you should or ought to possess (i.e., a representation of someone’s sense of your duty, obligations, or responsibilities).

The Pygmalion effect is the phenomenon whereby the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform. Expect much from yourself, perform better!

Back to discrepancies.

The theory states that people are motivated to reduce the gap in order to remove disparity in self-guides.

Instead of lowering the bar and coming to terms with the actual self that you don’t even like. You must close this gap by becoming your ideal self.

Role-models inspired people for many years to become better. They were the real life representation of the ideal self. Becoming your ideal-self should be your goal.

How to achieve goals:

  1. First choose between all the potential goals you could reach.
  2. Make priorities and then choose the best one.
  3. Write down and visualize your goal(When you see your ideal self you should say:”Ecco Hominis!”).
  4. Make plans and strategies about how you will reach your goal.
  5. Achieve your goals.
  6. Assess what has been achieved, what still needs to be achieved by further acting on the goal.Revising objectives is no bad thing.

Goals must be SMART , dreams should be unobtainable.

Don’t be afraid to fail – Outcome independence

Easy to say, hard to do.

Inspired by this post on TRP 

I preach about this a lot but there is an important aspect that gets lost in translation. You must be able to place yourself in the position where you can fail. Be the tree, not the ivy. Be the leading role of your life, not a supporting role. You must still be someone after a fail. Never make your life dependent on a single decision. And have a back up plan for every decision. Actually always have a back up plan and another back up plan for that. And failing is not a bad thing, the crippling fear of failing is a bad thing.  It even has a name: Atychiphobia

All our emotions stem from our focus (what we think) and our physiology (posture, breathing). Lets say your normal state is head up, shoulders forward, deep breathing. When you are depressed or phobic your head sinks down, you let your shoulders hang and start breathing shallow. So the quickest way is to shake it off and change what you are doing. But that doesn’t change your focus. So you have to clear your mind. Stop asking yourself loaded questions. Stop looking into the abyss (everything that can go wrong), focus on the positive things that can happen, look at the horizon. Ask yourself positive questions. And remember a time where you felt powerful and strong. Then jump up and start moving or running. This is the fastest way to change.  Sometimes looking at the worst case scenario helps. Because if you think rationally you will come to the conclusion that the worst case scenario itself isn’t even that bad.

The post above basically tells you to embrace mistakes. They are an important and even crucial part of learning and growing. So stop beating yourself up with what could go wrong and use your experience for the future. You avoid mistakes through experience. You get experience through mistakes.

Now when you changed your mind you are ready tackle your problem. You can stop trying so hard, the easiest solution probably is the right one and will work. You can stop focusing on the outcome. What you can do is focus on the process.  So don’t be afraid to fail. Be ready to fail. The most important thing you can take away from this is understanding that being afraid of failure is just limiting yourself. The only real way to fail is not trying.

The implementation of the strategies rests with the operational management.

Strategic planning is like inner game. And outer game is like operational management. It is the practical application of inner game. For me outer game is showing other people your inner game. In my case it is obnoxious love for my self and too much confidence.

How did I create this confidence and self love? I admire myself, my body, my decisions. Just like anorexic girls stand in front of a mirror and think about suicide every day, I stand in front of a mirror and admire my body and my face. “Go tiger, the world is yours” is like a mantra for me. This is where the halo effect comes into play. Other people see that I value my self and value me more.

Value yourself before you value others!

If I am unhappy with any part of my body I train more. Realizing my boundaries is a great feeling. I even love the pain while training. After 50 push ups, when I can’t do another one I push my self and actually manage to do another one. When I think about giving up I say to my self “No pain no gain!” and do another one. Now my muscles tremble and shake but I keep on going till no grunting and making grimaces helps anymore.

How can you not love yourself when you are the motherfucker that pushes himself so far? When you shower in ice cold water everyday. Looking back at what you have accomplished in the past can also give you a confidence boost.

Higher confidence grants you the ability to hold eye contact much longer, increases your posture and mood. Which all add cumulative to the halo effect. Ironically and thanks to the halo effect you will accomplish more, and you will get even more confident.

Another important thing about game is to reflect about what went wrong.  Learn from your mistakes!

When everything works out people will see you as a high quality man. Now you can let your targets do the chasing. Let everyone know you are there. Let certain girls know that they look good, then go aloof. Let her go crazy and pick her up after she went through all possibilities where she could have fucked up after you told her what you think about her. This is the most subtle neg there is. If she thinks she has higher value than you neg her less subtle or insult her (If you feel like it). Get her to show you how much value she has.

Actually skip the let her doing the chasing trick. That shit doesn’t work, even when she gets an orgasm when she sees you she won’t do the first step 90% of the time. Let her get crazy and then pick up the fruits. You always have to stop being aloof at one point.

Become a superhuman

Strategic planning!

  1. “What do we do?” – Being awesome.
  2. “For whom do we do it?” – For us.
  3. “How do we excel? – Never giving up, always working on ourselves.

Mission – Why do we exist: Maximizing happiness

Vision – What we want to be: A superhuman.

Operational planning: How do we reach the goals of our strategic planning.

Over the next 6 weeks I will complete several challenges.

http://hundredpushups.com/index.html#sthash.hfvvTQzw.dpbs

The 200 Situps Training Program

http://www.twentyfivepullups.com/ – Not online yet, I just invent some numbers.

http://www.runnersworld.co.uk/beginners/get-started-schedules/30.html

  1. 100 Push ups
  2. 200 Sit ups
  3. 200 squads
  4. 150 dip ups
  5. 25 pull ups
  6. 30 Minutes of running

I can start at week 3 at all challenges, but since I combine them I will start it simple. The pull-ups will probably be the hardest one. Since tall people are 30% heavier but only 20% stronger than small people. Nevertheless I will manage it.

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/07/30/speed-reading-and-accelerated-learning/

Finally I will push myself to learn this.

+ I will write with my not dominate hand more.

Goals should be SMART so.

  • Specific – Physical and mental improvement
  • Measurable – Did I complete the challenges, can I speed read?
  • Assignable – Who will do it? …
  • Realistic – Sure.
  • Time-related – in 6 weeks.

I dare you to do something similar.

Edit: Not realistic at all, running while building muscles is impossible. I just repeat Week 3 of these challenges now till I don’t struggle anymore. Probably shouldn’t have started everything on the same day.

Scarcity mentality

Plant the seed of scarcity in her mind. It will drive her crazy and want you even more

When you are not there when she needs you, she will be grateful when you finally are there.

You will have more to talk about.

Dread – “Where has he been, what has he done”

Independence – “He doesn’t need me…”

Works with everyone. Friends, plates, family…

Think of the other extreme: Living together, it is not easy to attract her everyday and living together is the death of most relationships.

Trick:

When a girl wants to see you again, get your mobile out, check the calendar, pretend that you got a tight schedule. Ask he what about next week . When she says great, say something like “Good, actually I have time nearly every/every second . And you got a fix date every (second) week.

Frame

Don’t give a fuck, state your opinion.

He who questions controls the conversation.

http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

http://therationalmale.com/2012/03/07/the-burden-of-control/

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2007/09/18/the-sexual-frame/

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/freeze-frame-controlling-the-conversation/

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/alpha-assessment-the-frame-game/

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/framing-flirting/

Escalating and Kino

Never miss a chance to escalate.

 

Example: You go outside a club, talk to a girl, your friends come out and tell you that they want to fetch something to eat. Don’t just say goodbye and follow your friends. Make out with her and then go eating. Don’t forget to take her number.

Insecure, you are not sure if she wants it? Do it anyways. Insecurity is your worst enemy. Your mindset should always be: “She wants me!”

Kino, or how to start escalating properly.

Touch her casually, then always go closer to more inappropriate spots, then make out with her, touch her inner tights and go closer and closer, then finger her through her pants. She will stop you when you are too fast. Read her body language to find out if she fears saying no, if she does go slower.

There is tons of stuff about kino already:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/game-kino-science-choose-any-three/

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/another-game-concept-vindicated-by-science-kino-escalation/

http://www.adarkheart.com/2013/01/26/kino-escalation-step-by-step/

 

Some people managed to overcome approach anxiety but don’t manage to go further. The best advice to destroy approach anxiety is get rejected on purpose 10 times a day. So escalate 10 times a week.

If you followed my blog you would already know that a relationship never should stall because attraction has an expiration date. So always push forward till you are at the goal.

Body Language

The way you carry yourself is very important. When you love yourself and have a high self esteem you just walk better, move slower, head up etc.

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2007/11/20/body-language/

http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/toc.html

Posture:

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/alpha-behavioral-characteristics/
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/am/alpha.htm
http://becomebetteryourself.com/body/posture/

Lifting is a great way to improve your posture. In my city the only people who have a good walk are black people. Hands down, palms are locking backwards, the hands and arms move smoothly in a rhythm with their movement. The upper body is leaned a bit backwards. The shoulders are not inverted – use more space. And the most important thing: It starts at the hips, they move their hips more when walking. I even started a dancing course to have a better stance, posture, walk. Great advantage: I am a great dancer now. Dancing is just like sex, the more confident you are the better you are.

Small trick on the side: When you are in a social situation and know everyone on your table, make sure next to you is a free space. So when a girl walks by and you talk to her you can offer her a seat and don’t have to move away.

Testosterone

I love it, before this ebook came out I think (didn’t test, but I feel better) I increased my T levels with eating, HIIT and good sleep.

Here I tackled it before: https://naturalredgame.wordpress.com/2013/11/15/getting-in-shape/

Tucker Max ebook:

http://tuckermax.me/the-testosterone-ebook-part-1-why-i-learned-about-testosterone/

http://tuckermax.me/the-testosterone-ebook-part-2-a-brief-introduction/ 

http://tuckermax.me/the-testosterone-ebook-part-3-eat-properly/

http://tuckermax.me/the-testosterone-ebook-part-4-exercise-properly/

http://tuckermax.me/the-testosterone-ebook-part-5-sleep-properly/

Attraction has an expiration date and girl game

Attraction lessens over time. Girls will think you are not interested and feel like you turned them down, thats not a nice feeling, so they will hate you.

Realize when a girl wants to game you and stop the thoughts of insecurity.

Pretty much always when girls start to talk to you it is an opener:

You are at the club. You are walking around or sitting talking to a friend. All of a sudden a group (2-6) of wild HBs appears. They need a photo of themselves right now and they need you to take it. Bullshit. They don’t need a photo, this is the go to girl opener.

Good response: Make a selfie and say:”That will be 25€, you can pay in cash or drinks”

Chameleon strategy: feigning interest to get a relationship. Once they have you comfortable and happy they usually stop the act and start becoming bitchy and demanding. So when you want a LTR always look out!

The I am here or staring: Often see girls checking me out, following me and staying within eye sight. Looking at me hopefully and needy. Some even say something to me and I pretend that I didn’t hear them, so they either get closer or change their pose. When that failed they feel like getting rejected and write me off.

This whole attraction has an expiration date is also the reason so many guys get stuck in the friendzone, act quick!

Dealing with feminists

Just don’t do it.

 

Try to explain a conspirator with facts why he is wrong. Instead of believing facts he will hate you. It is impossible to change the mindset of those people, so never try it, just evade the discussion, or tell them how you lost all respect for them since they ignore facts and hate you for knowing more than them and that this is a very bad character, if they still hate you, and they will, just say I don’t want to talk to you. You can next everyone till you find someone worth talking to.

Orbiters and friendzone

There is a reason women don’t give a fuck about the validation and the commitment they get from orbiters and guys in their friendzone:

  • Because they manipulated them to do it
  • They know that there will come more where this came from
  • It is calculate able/foreseeable, in short boring.

I just said this to a girl, she confirmed that it is boring, she just does it for the power feeling, “then you think you are the best.”

Girl Game

Girl Game, I grew up with 4 sisters and know pretty much about it.

In short: 95% of all girls suck at flirting. (Yes I made that number up based on observations)

Women suck at flirting, they will talk about their ex boyfriends with you, 50% of what they say is stuff they would say to their orbiters/friendzoned guys because they have no idea how to flirt or talk to guys.

The problem is that besides looking good (and when that doesn’t work they try to look better) they don’t up their game. Women game has to be adjusted to shy males that don’t dare to make the first step, so they show availability instead of being a woman worth being gamed but showing availability often comes over as “I am a slut, and I am here”. 

For example: “I had sex with a complete stranger on that toilet over there once.” Then she smiled and tried to hold hands with her target.

“Wooohooo I am soo drunk” When she isn’t.

Buying you a drink! – Yes that should be obvious.

A girl who was giving me a ride told me about her previous boyfriend. I made her shut up because she has orbiters for that. But it turned out that she just had no idea what to talk about with me.

Another Girl Game strategy is to stay close to her target, she will follow you around in the club, sit down on the table next to you, always is in sight.

And then we have the eye flirt. Some women mags recommend that. When she tries to eye flirt just go and talk to her.

Realizing when a girl wants to game you triples your lay counter.

1) Plate theory

In my opinion spinning plates is the single most important part about becoming a natural.

Abundance mentality, confidence, not giving a fuck, too much confidence, falling in love with yourself

Plate spinning improved that a lot, and it can happen to you.

So spin plates!

Plate Theory

Plate Theory II: Non-Exclusivity

Plate Theory III: Transitioning

Plate Theory IV: Goal-State Monogamy

Plate Theory V: Lady’s Game

Plate Theory VI: Abundance & Scarcity

Don’t give a fuck

We actually often next chances because we fear the outcome/consequences, we see that the odds are bad, but we get many opportunities to fly where eagles dare. But if you fly there, you can also fall very deep. But you should never miss a chance to fly! Preemptive nexting is just not taking the risk, spread your wings and try to fly. How many of you choose a normal life over a life as a rock star or whatever just because it is risky?

“Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.” – Tucker Max

Some Quotes

“You won’t have big success unless you take big risks.”

What would you say to/about the contention that game is pussy-centric and thus bluepill, because it measures success and even manhood by the behaviour/approval of women?

Would would you say about the contention that being rich is money-centric and thus bluepill, because it measures success and manhood by the approval of getting cash?

All I know is that having a plan to get pussy and cash yields pussy and cash. I like both, and I will get both regardless if some guy on the internet thinks otherwise.

I have a belief that “if it’s easy, it’s not worth doing.” What kind of man would you be if that popped into your head every day? I found that when I worked really hard at something and succeeded, the reward was amazing—it provided a great high. To duplicate that high, I have to keep pushing myself. One success builds upon the next.

Some quotes, I think most of them are from Roosh V

Game of da hoez, by some pimp

1) Make them depend on you in all things. In this way, you have power over them – and power is control.

2) Make them understand that you don’t need them, that they need you and that they are replaceable. Never let them know if you need sexual favors from them.

3) Never let anyone get away with anything. Once they feel they can get away with something, they will always scheme against you.

4) No matter how much you like them or care for them, never trust them. Remember the line from Scarface: “Who do I trust? Me – That’s who”.

5) Always stay two steps ahead of the women.

6) Never let them know the extent of your plans – but you should always stay abreast of theirs.

7) Ensure that you own their minds, their bodies and their souls. Be sure to periodically test those limits.

8) Separate your business dealings from your family and from your enemies – for you cannot trust them.

9) Remain up-to-date with all current developments. Maintain a network of informants and spies to facilitate this

10) Give respect when respect is due

If you follow these rules, you should excel at your profession.

Sound advice, my friends. Sound advice

Oneitis

90% of love and 100% of having a crush comes from your imagination, of the future you will have with someone. 

a man with oneitis is a code word for a man without options

When you know that you can have pretty much every girl out there you will be less clingy, more outcome independent…

Maybe: Girls always want to be with someone in a relationship, maybe it is just preselection but it could also be that they have an abundance mentality…

Jedi Game

First you must unlearn what you have learned. Everything everyone ever told you about women, unlearn it.

The force, is within you, use it, till it enlightens everyone around you. All you have to do is realize that you can rule the world. You must love yourself more than anything else.

Make use of the Halo effect. When a girl sees me she knows what she will get when she fucks me, my walk, my posture, my words, they all say the same thing. This guy is a price. IOIs left and right, without even talking to a girl are common. Thanks to the Halo effect. Shine bright!

Now you can learn your natural game, not from books or looking what others do, but by going out there and flirting. That is the only way to establish a natural game, is it wrong to call it game? All you do is sell yourself, you do not fake anything.

Best of TRP

Greetings, everybody. Welcome to the red pill. We’ve got almost a hundred subscribers, in exactly two weeks! This is incredible.

Why have we grown so quickly?

Because there’s truth in the red pill. Because men are realizing that the sexual marketplace has shifted away from what we’ve been taught. Men who grew up over thirty years ago are discovering the world has changed. Men who are still growing up- from the 80s, 90s, and even the last decade, they’re starting to realize that what their parents taught them, what television and chick flicks taught them, what church and sunday school taught them… it’s all wrong.

Our culture has become a feminist culture. A president cannot be elected today without succumbing to the feminist narrative and paying them tribute. How many times has Obama given credit for his manhood to his wife? How many times has the debate hinged on women’s pay gap – which is a myth that gets lip service because if you don’t you’re a misogynist!

I’m not here to parade the concepts of Men’s Rights- nor am I here to discuss self-improvement tips that/r/seduction[1] now purports are to make you a better man, not get laid more often.

I am here to say, for better or for worse, the frame around public discourse is a feminist frame, and we’ve lost our identity because of it.

But this isn’t the end of the world. The world is changing, but men are still part of it. We just need to make sure we’re changing with it.

It’s too easy to blame feminism for our troubles.

Men, our happiness is our responsibility. Culture has always shifted, it’s dynamic and fluid. It has never and will never stay still.

Feminism was inevitable. Equal rights are something I strongly am in support of. For men and women.

Women have the right to pursue happiness. Nobody should tell them otherwise. Maximizing happiness is the goal of every living creature on this planet.

Men, we need to recognize that since women are rightfully seeking out happiness, evolutionary psychology is more relevant today than ever in the past century. (and possibly longer). We no longer run the show. And I, for one, don’t disagree that marriage had to change if we were to see equal rights.

But now it’s time to get serious and realize that our strategy needs to change. Feminism is a sexual strategy. It puts women into the best position they can find, to select mates, to determine when they want to switch mates, to locate the best dna possible, and to garner the most resources they can individually achieve.

The Red Pill is men’s sexual strategy. Reality[2] is happening, and we need to make sure that we adjust our strategy accordingly.

Welcome to the red pill. It’s a difficult pill to swallow, understanding that everything you were taught, everything you were lead to believe is a lie. But once you learn it, internalize it, and start living your new life, it gets better.

As an introduction to the topic, I want to outline what our focus is here at /r/theredpill[3] .

Mastering Game

Game is an important portion of a sexual strategy. A lot of you probably came here from /r/seduction[4] and are probably wondering why we’d need a new subreddit if one dedicated to game already exists. The reason is simple: Game is a facet of The Red Pill’s sexual strategy. Determining good game is impossible to do so without first understanding the context given by The Red Pill’s framework. Something I keep seeing over on the seduction subreddit is a problem taking over most relationship and sex forums: the desire to feminize the discussion (basically making it sound politically correct if read by a female).

Yes, game got a bad reputation from girls who demonize manipulation. This is because game is an effective strategy against their own sexual strategy. I believe women’s opposition to game can be attributed to the unconscious factors in women’s sexual strategy (Please do read Schedules of Mating[5]

When women started becoming vocal about their opposition to game, that’s when men decided it would be necessary to make game more politically correct. “Oh, we’re not here to manipulate women to have sex with us- we’re here to become better men!”

And thus, the female imperative took over game. When men think they must define their own sexual strategy in a way that best delivers results to the female sexual strategy, you know your own strategy will suffer! In a game of chess, do I politely not take out the oppositions’ queen in hopes not to offend or win the game?

Defining the Strategy[6]

Because of the necessity to have good game, we must define what good game is. A large portion of Red Pill discussion revolves around evolutionary psychology. Understanding the facets of this psychology are key to developing a good sexual strategy. Because this strategy is useful not only in gaining the attention of the opposite sex, but continuing relationships, having children, and maximizing your own happiness throughout life, I’m going to argue that defining the strategy outside of just “good game” is an important facet of Red Pill Discussion.

Acknowledging Reality[7]

Finally, I think our focus should always remain on ensuring that we challenge the reality we perceive and discuss precisely and objectively whether or not our beliefs line up with the testable results we can replicate. I am a firm believer that potential success can only be maximized by maximizing your knowledge of the factors surrounding your success. Keeping your eyes closed and ignoring evidence and facts will not benefit you. Opening your eyes and acknowledging everything no matter how good, bad, or painful it may seem, is instrumental in making decisions that will lead to the happiest, most successful outcomes.

 

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/12v1hf/almost_a_hundred_subscribers_welcome_newcomers/

Do it for your own mind

I tried to make it work, because the alternative is literally being alone.

You are already alone. Only you can give yourself meaning.

Even the meaning that you think females give you, you actually give yourself.

Your mental construct of what they are is far, far better than the reality of what they actually are. Nature gave you this imagination because it was faster than waiting for evolution to make actual females catch up to what you want them to be. Your subconscious takes you for a ride.

Think about it: Have any of them ever adjusted dials and knobs in your head to make you feel a particular way?

Of course not. Your brain did it by itself. Just like when you have dreams. Seeing the girl was only the jumping-off point. Your brain constructed a fantasy around that which it prefers to reality.

But it’s an insidious illusion, because the very act of trying to get lost in it is what makes it slip away. Yourbehaviors when “in love” are mostly the opposite of what will make her want to stay.

Women try to bitch you up — that is, emasculate you, take control, dominate you. They can’t even help it and most of them don’t even realize they are doing it.

They are endlessly testing you to see if you are still “stronger” than them. And as soon as you aren’t, they are thinking about their exit strategy.

To understand this view, you can’t think of yourself through YOUR eyes, you have to look at it from a third-party perspective.

Think of your favorite sports hero. Why do you like him? Because he’s the best. If he sucked, you wouldn’t like him.Right?

And if he starts to slip, his popularity will decline. Someone else becomes the new King of the Hill.

That’s essentially the same dynamic behind how women view you.

They are NOT there to fulfill you.

They are NOT there to be leaned on.

They are there to find the baddest dude around. The one who seems like he’s FAR ABOVE THEM.

And they only keep liking him IF he STAYS above them.

What does this mean?

You get a girl by treating her as LESS important than you. And you can never, ever stop. The day you stop is the day she loses interest.

You can never just lay back and think your work is done. She is wired to keep testing you every day, just like you are wired to wake up with wood.

You can never beg her not to leave you. You have to always seem like you are the prize, the one with options, the one who has a party going on in his own head, that she will miss out because your life is awesome.

In short, this requires self-confidence, and self-confidence requires YOU putting YOUR OWN idea of yourself above EVERYONE ELSE’S IN THE WORLD.

It doesn’t matter what your parents think, or friends think, or strangers, or the public, or your fans, and it ESPECIALLY doesn’t matter what WOMEN think.

You decide the model OF yourself FOR yourself, and NEVER incorporate any doubts from others that make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Don’t ask what anyone else thinks of you and don’t worry about it.

You decide what goals you have, and what changes you want to make to yourself, but this NEVER means you aren’t good enough in the present.

It doesn’t matter what you DO or DON’T have going for you externally at any moment. You don’t have options? You’ll GET options. You don’t have a party in your mind? You’ll make one. Your external life isn’t awesome yet? It will inevitably come to reflect your inner state. It can’t not. But it is only a reflection in a pond that swirls with many other outside forces that have nothing to do with you; do not mistake the reflection for reality. There are wars, famines, maybe an asteroid will strike, a tornado, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis. The reflection will be turbulent in proportion to the environment.

Reflect on the fact that everyone you care about will die, and the deaths will pile up more and more as you get older. You must prepare for this psychologically in advance in order to avoid ego-based devastation. Because if you feel like you will be traumatized and never recover if person X dies, you are just giving up all your agency to some unknown future event, after which you will torment your own mind with unassuageable grief and anguish.

These are just behaviors like any others and are optional.

Sam Harris – Death and the Present Moment[1] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITTxTCz4Ums

It takes time to adapt your mind to new ways of thinking. You won’t get it all at once, any more than going to the gym once changes your body. But all you have to do is put the demand there, and your mind and body will supercompensate (grow) to meet the demand.

BUT: You don’t do this FOR women. To get women. Or to meet women.

You do it for your OWN MIND, because it FEELS BETTER to be confident and sure of your own self than to be mired in self-doubt and feeling not-good-enough.

 

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1ii7ra/why_sluts_are_damaged_goods_when_it_comes_to_long/cb55nsq?context=3

Always think of yourself as the hottest guy on earth

http://news.discovery.com/human/evolution/men-women-romance-evolution-111215.htm

I don’t just think that I am the greatest guy on earth, I know that and I live that. And it works. I even would become gay if there was a perfect doppelganger of me.

 

+ it makes you pretty narcissistic and always wanting more. That could be one of the reasons I love to approach girls so much. Every time a girl looks at me and starts smiling I think that would be a great start for a romantic movie.

 

Misunderstanding most of what girls say for “I want your dick/You make me wet” is great and you won’t have second thoughts about her intentions. And you will miss less chances. It could happen that you think: “She said that because she wants to friendzone me”. But it could also be that she sucks at flirting. So don’t miss the chance. Another great side effect is coming over cocky.