It’s not a disgrace to fall down, but it’s a disgrace to stay lying there.
Easy to say, hard to do.
Inspired by this post on TRP
I preach about this a lot but there is an important aspect that gets lost in translation. You must be able to place yourself in the position where you can fail. Be the tree, not the ivy. Be the leading role of your life, not a supporting role. You must still be someone after a fail. Never make your life dependent on a single decision. And have a back up plan for every decision. Actually always have a back up plan and another back up plan for that. And failing is not a bad thing, the crippling fear of failing is a bad thing. It even has a name: Atychiphobia
All our emotions stem from our focus (what we think) and our physiology (posture, breathing). Lets say your normal state is head up, shoulders forward, deep breathing. When you are depressed or phobic your head sinks down, you let your shoulders hang and start breathing shallow. So the quickest way is to shake it off and change what you are doing. But that doesn’t change your focus. So you have to clear your mind. Stop asking yourself loaded questions. Stop looking into the abyss (everything that can go wrong), focus on the positive things that can happen, look at the horizon. Ask yourself positive questions. And remember a time where you felt powerful and strong. Then jump up and start moving or running. This is the fastest way to change. Sometimes looking at the worst case scenario helps. Because if you think rationally you will come to the conclusion that the worst case scenario itself isn’t even that bad.
The post above basically tells you to embrace mistakes. They are an important and even crucial part of learning and growing. So stop beating yourself up with what could go wrong and use your experience for the future. You avoid mistakes through experience. You get experience through mistakes.
Now when you changed your mind you are ready tackle your problem. You can stop trying so hard, the easiest solution probably is the right one and will work. You can stop focusing on the outcome. What you can do is focus on the process. So don’t be afraid to fail. Be ready to fail. The most important thing you can take away from this is understanding that being afraid of failure is just limiting yourself. The only real way to fail is not trying.
If You Don’t Know Where You’re Going, You’ll Probably End Up Somewhere Else
Define your goals (long term goals)
Write them down
Adjust them when needed
Reach them and set new goals.
Goals should be SMART, Dreams should be unobtainable. Fly where eagles dare!
Anyone who stops improving has stopped being good.
You don’t have to be better than others, being better than your past self is one of the most noble, if not the most noble goal of them all.
Strategic planning is like inner game. And outer game is like operational management. It is the practical application of inner game. For me outer game is showing other people your inner game. In my case it is obnoxious love for my self and too much confidence.
How did I create this confidence and self love? I admire myself, my body, my decisions. Just like anorexic girls stand in front of a mirror and think about suicide every day, I stand in front of a mirror and admire my body and my face. “Go tiger, the world is yours” is like a mantra for me. This is where the halo effect comes into play. Other people see that I value my self and value me more.
Value yourself before you value others!
If I am unhappy with any part of my body I train more. Realizing my boundaries is a great feeling. I even love the pain while training. After 50 push ups, when I can’t do another one I push my self and actually manage to do another one. When I think about giving up I say to my self “No pain no gain!” and do another one. Now my muscles tremble and shake but I keep on going till no grunting and making grimaces helps anymore.
How can you not love yourself when you are the motherfucker that pushes himself so far? When you shower in ice cold water everyday. Looking back at what you have accomplished in the past can also give you a confidence boost.
Higher confidence grants you the ability to hold eye contact much longer, increases your posture and mood. Which all add cumulative to the halo effect. Ironically and thanks to the halo effect you will accomplish more, and you will get even more confident.
Another important thing about game is to reflect about what went wrong. Learn from your mistakes!
When everything works out people will see you as a high quality man. Now you can let your targets do the chasing. Let everyone know you are there. Let certain girls know that they look good, then go aloof. Let her go crazy and pick her up after she went through all possibilities where she could have fucked up after you told her what you think about her. This is the most subtle neg there is. If she thinks she has higher value than you neg her less subtle or insult her (If you feel like it). Get her to show you how much value she has.
Actually skip the let her doing the chasing trick. That shit doesn’t work, even when she gets an orgasm when she sees you she won’t do the first step 90% of the time. Let her get crazy and then pick up the fruits. You always have to stop being aloof at one point.
Rejection can hurt, but remorse is a bitch that will punch you in the face every time you think about your missed chances. Give less fucks and approach/escalate.
Gamble big, loose big, gamble again, win big, you just have to win one time. And once you win you will hate all the times you didn’t even gamble, because not gambling is even worse than loosing.