Do it for your own mind

I tried to make it work, because the alternative is literally being alone.

You are already alone. Only you can give yourself meaning.

Even the meaning that you think females give you, you actually give yourself.

Your mental construct of what they are is far, far better than the reality of what they actually are. Nature gave you this imagination because it was faster than waiting for evolution to make actual females catch up to what you want them to be. Your subconscious takes you for a ride.

Think about it: Have any of them ever adjusted dials and knobs in your head to make you feel a particular way?

Of course not. Your brain did it by itself. Just like when you have dreams. Seeing the girl was only the jumping-off point. Your brain constructed a fantasy around that which it prefers to reality.

But it’s an insidious illusion, because the very act of trying to get lost in it is what makes it slip away. Yourbehaviors when “in love” are mostly the opposite of what will make her want to stay.

Women try to bitch you up — that is, emasculate you, take control, dominate you. They can’t even help it and most of them don’t even realize they are doing it.

They are endlessly testing you to see if you are still “stronger” than them. And as soon as you aren’t, they are thinking about their exit strategy.

To understand this view, you can’t think of yourself through YOUR eyes, you have to look at it from a third-party perspective.

Think of your favorite sports hero. Why do you like him? Because he’s the best. If he sucked, you wouldn’t like him.Right?

And if he starts to slip, his popularity will decline. Someone else becomes the new King of the Hill.

That’s essentially the same dynamic behind how women view you.

They are NOT there to fulfill you.

They are NOT there to be leaned on.

They are there to find the baddest dude around. The one who seems like he’s FAR ABOVE THEM.

And they only keep liking him IF he STAYS above them.

What does this mean?

You get a girl by treating her as LESS important than you. And you can never, ever stop. The day you stop is the day she loses interest.

You can never just lay back and think your work is done. She is wired to keep testing you every day, just like you are wired to wake up with wood.

You can never beg her not to leave you. You have to always seem like you are the prize, the one with options, the one who has a party going on in his own head, that she will miss out because your life is awesome.

In short, this requires self-confidence, and self-confidence requires YOU putting YOUR OWN idea of yourself above EVERYONE ELSE’S IN THE WORLD.

It doesn’t matter what your parents think, or friends think, or strangers, or the public, or your fans, and it ESPECIALLY doesn’t matter what WOMEN think.

You decide the model OF yourself FOR yourself, and NEVER incorporate any doubts from others that make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Don’t ask what anyone else thinks of you and don’t worry about it.

You decide what goals you have, and what changes you want to make to yourself, but this NEVER means you aren’t good enough in the present.

It doesn’t matter what you DO or DON’T have going for you externally at any moment. You don’t have options? You’ll GET options. You don’t have a party in your mind? You’ll make one. Your external life isn’t awesome yet? It will inevitably come to reflect your inner state. It can’t not. But it is only a reflection in a pond that swirls with many other outside forces that have nothing to do with you; do not mistake the reflection for reality. There are wars, famines, maybe an asteroid will strike, a tornado, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis. The reflection will be turbulent in proportion to the environment.

Reflect on the fact that everyone you care about will die, and the deaths will pile up more and more as you get older. You must prepare for this psychologically in advance in order to avoid ego-based devastation. Because if you feel like you will be traumatized and never recover if person X dies, you are just giving up all your agency to some unknown future event, after which you will torment your own mind with unassuageable grief and anguish.

These are just behaviors like any others and are optional.

Sam Harris – Death and the Present Moment[1]

It takes time to adapt your mind to new ways of thinking. You won’t get it all at once, any more than going to the gym once changes your body. But all you have to do is put the demand there, and your mind and body will supercompensate (grow) to meet the demand.

BUT: You don’t do this FOR women. To get women. Or to meet women.

You do it for your OWN MIND, because it FEELS BETTER to be confident and sure of your own self than to be mired in self-doubt and feeling not-good-enough.


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