Do you want to change? Just change yourself when you want to change!
Actual self is your representation of the attributes that you believe you actually possess, or that you believe others believe you possess. The “actual self” is a person’s basic self-concept. It is one’s perception of their own attributes (intelligence, athleticism, attractiveness, etc.).
We can ignore the actual self at first if we want to change who we are, the actual self will follow the ideal and ought self.
Ideal self is your representation of the attributes that someone (yourself or another) would like you, ideally, to possess (i.e., a representation of someone’s hopes, aspirations, or wishes for you). The “ideal-self” is what usually motivates individuals to change, improve and achieve.
The ideal self-regulatory system focuses on the presence or absence of positive outcomes (e.g., love provided or withdrawn).
The best way to achieve that is to make a list of skills/attributes/characteristics you want to have. You must picture your ideal self every day.
Ought is your representation of the attributes that someone (yourself or another) believes you should or ought to possess (i.e., a representation of someone’s sense of your duty, obligations, or responsibilities).
The Pygmalion effect is the phenomenon whereby the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform. Expect much from yourself, perform better!
Back to discrepancies.
The theory states that people are motivated to reduce the gap in order to remove disparity in self-guides.
Instead of lowering the bar and coming to terms with the actual self that you don’t even like. You must close this gap by becoming your ideal self.
Role-models inspired people for many years to become better. They were the real life representation of the ideal self. Becoming your ideal-self should be your goal.
How to achieve goals:
- First choose between all the potential goals you could reach.
- Make priorities and then choose the best one.
- Write down and visualize your goal(When you see your ideal self you should say:”Ecco Hominis!”).
- Make plans and strategies about how you will reach your goal.
- Achieve your goals.
- Assess what has been achieved, what still needs to be achieved by further acting on the goal.Revising objectives is no bad thing.
Goals must be SMART , dreams should be unobtainable.