Don’t be afraid to fail – Outcome independence

Easy to say, hard to do.

Inspired by this post on TRP 

I preach about this a lot but there is an important aspect that gets lost in translation. You must be able to place yourself in the position where you can fail. Be the tree, not the ivy. Be the leading role of your life, not a supporting role. You must still be someone after a fail. Never make your life dependent on a single decision. And have a back up plan for every decision. Actually always have a back up plan and another back up plan for that. And failing is not a bad thing, the crippling fear of failing is a bad thing.  It even has a name: Atychiphobia

All our emotions stem from our focus (what we think) and our physiology (posture, breathing). Lets say your normal state is head up, shoulders forward, deep breathing. When you are depressed or phobic your head sinks down, you let your shoulders hang and start breathing shallow. So the quickest way is to shake it off and change what you are doing. But that doesn’t change your focus. So you have to clear your mind. Stop asking yourself loaded questions. Stop looking into the abyss (everything that can go wrong), focus on the positive things that can happen, look at the horizon. Ask yourself positive questions. And remember a time where you felt powerful and strong. Then jump up and start moving or running. This is the fastest way to change.  Sometimes looking at the worst case scenario helps. Because if you think rationally you will come to the conclusion that the worst case scenario itself isn’t even that bad.

The post above basically tells you to embrace mistakes. They are an important and even crucial part of learning and growing. So stop beating yourself up with what could go wrong and use your experience for the future. You avoid mistakes through experience. You get experience through mistakes.

Now when you changed your mind you are ready tackle your problem. You can stop trying so hard, the easiest solution probably is the right one and will work. You can stop focusing on the outcome. What you can do is focus on the process.  So don’t be afraid to fail. Be ready to fail. The most important thing you can take away from this is understanding that being afraid of failure is just limiting yourself. The only real way to fail is not trying.

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